Oh My User
by GeekRyuu
Summary: After a lightning strike transports her to Mainframe, Callista Anderson finds out that there's a whole lot more to computers than she ever knew. Can the Mainframers live with her? Can she ever get home? Will I shut up and let you read this? Find out!
1. Arrivals

##### Oh My User: Chapter One

by Ryuu-sama (karma_aster@yahoo.com)

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Rating: PG (language)

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The oh-so-boring and obligatory disclaimer: Bob, Dot, Phong and all the original ReBoot characters are the property of Mainframe Entertainment. I use them with the utmost affection and respect and promise to put them back when I'm done playing with them. ^_^ Other characters are my original creations and may only be used with my permission (not that you guys *wouldn't* ask first, right?). This is a non-profit work of fan-fiction.

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Notes, thank-you's, and other stuff: This is my first-ever ReBoot fanfic. I had a lot of fun writing it and I'm rather proud of how it turned out. I'd like to thank my friends, Corrie, Sarah, & Spring, who proofread this story for their support, patience, and criticism. I'd also like to thank Spring for getting me hooked on ReBoot in the first place (SEE? This is all YOUR fault, Spring! ^_~). Finally, I'd like to thank Hanako Breithaupt of "The List" fame for giving me pointers on how NOT to write fanfic. You've got first dibs on MiSTing this one, if you want it! Before I let you get on with the story, I would like to apologize for the excellent grammar and spelling throughout this fic. I wrote a few different drafts, went over each one with my computer's grammar- and spell-checker, and had other people proofread this before I posted it. I know that I am setting a standard of excellence for other ReBoot fanfic by doing this and I am sorry. ^_^

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Feedback: Yes, please! Anything that'll make the next one better! 

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Summary: After a lighting strike takes her from the Userworld to Mainframe, Callista Anderson learns that there's a whole lot more about computers than she ever knew. Will she ever adapt to Mainframe? Can the citizens learn to cope with her? Will she ever get home? Read on and find out! 

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Time measurements:

1 nanosecond =1 user minute

1 microsecond = 1 user hour

1 second = 1 user day

1 cycle = 1 user week

1 minute = 1 user month

1 hour = 1 user year

##### The "Real World":

Callista Anderson glanced apprehensively out of her apartment window at the stormy sky. There was an ominous, surly growl of thunder and distant flashes of lighting emitting from the heavy black clouds.

"That looks bad..."she murmured, "but I really need to finish this." She looked at the computer monitor that displayed the webpage she was updating and then peeked back out the window. "Hmm...there isn't much left to do. Maybe I can beat the storm."

She pushed an errant lock of the brown hair that had escaped from her long braid behind her left ear and straightened her glasses on her nose before she resumed typing. 

Outside, lighting crackled dramatically and struck the power lines. The surge of electricity twisted up the cables and into the computer. A glowing arc of power poured through Callista, locking her hands to the keyboard. The girl gave a shrill, agonized scream, her body afire with pain. She slumped over the keyboard, a merciful blackness stealing over her mind.

The monitor went wild, flashing through hundreds of system messages at top speed. The screen gave a final burst of light and went blank.

##### Mainframe- Principal Office:

"Yes. I'll look into that right away. Thank you." Dot Matrix smiled and closed the Vid Window. Then she heaved a weary sigh, pulling off her reading glasses and rubbing her throbbing temples.

"User...I had no idea what I was getting into when I became command.com, did I?" She glanced over at the timepiece on her desktop, wondering if she had time for a break. "19:00? Spammit, I'm calling it a second. I need some downtime!"

The door to her office gently whooshed open and she looked up, anticipating and dreading the arrival of one of her staff with yet another 'urgent' problem. Instead, she was pleasantly surprised to see Bob smiling at her from the doorway. 

"Hey. Are they keeping you busy?" he asked, walking over and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"All part of being command.com, I suppose. All the nanos feel like micros." She rose from her chair and leaned into his comforting embrace. "Being able to go home to you makes it all worth it, though,"

He chuckled. "That's good to know. So, are you ready to end-file for the second?"

She pulled away and grinned up at him. "Sure, if we can get out of here without any of my staff catching us."

He laughed again and seized her hand. "Well, keep your head low," he advised. Dot giggled as they ducked out of her office. They had almost made it to the exit when she heard a frantic voice calling her name.

"Commander Matrix! Sir!"

She sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true," she muttered to Bob, who hid a grin. They turned to face the young binome running up behind them.

"Yes, Packard? What is it?" she asked, giving a kind smile to the girl. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Commander Matrix, Guardian Bob... but the sensors have picked up an unauthorized portal over Baudway, near the Diner." 

"A portal?" Bob asked, somewhat sharply.

"Y-yes, Guardian," Packard answered nervously. "The sensors registered an unknown entity coming through it before the portal vanished." She turned to Dot. "A team has already been sent out, Sir." 

"Hmm...I'd better go too," Dot mused.

"I'll join you," said Bob.

She nodded. "Good idea." She smiled again at the binome. "Thank you, Packard. You did an excellent job."

"You're welcome, Sir." Packard gave a quick salute and hurried back to her post as quickly as dignity allowed.

Dot turned to Bob, her expression fearful. "Bob, you don't think...I mean, it couldn't be...Megabyte, could it?"

Bob took one of her hands in both of his. "Dot, it's been at least three minutes since he got sucked into the Web," he reassured her, "That's a long time for anyone to survive out there."

Dot raised an eyebrow. "Well, you did."

"I was lucky," Bob said, smiling and tweaking her nose, "and I had something important to live for."

"So does he," Dot answered, gloomily. "Revenge on us." 

"And since when have you been such a pessimist?"

"I'm not! It's just...we all went through so much...changed so much. When I thought I'd lost both you and Enzo...Can any of us really go through that again?"

"Dot." Bob hugged her. "I promised that I would never leave you again, and I intend to keep that promise."

Dot nodded, biting at her lower lip. "That-that's right. You always keep your promises."

"So, shall we see what we have to deal with, Commander Matrix?" Bob stressed the title slightly, tactfully reminding her that she had a public image to maintain.

She smiled, then schooled her features into a pleasant but neutral expression, taking the hint. "By all means, Guardian Bob. Let's investigate this."

The two of them left the PO, hand in hand.

##### Mainframe- Baudway:

AndrAIa and Matrix were zipping towards the PO to visit Dot when the sound of emergency sirens caught their attention. They saw a flock of CPU's and a medical team speed by. 

"What in the 'net was all that?" asked AndrAIa.

Matrix turned around to follow them. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out!" he called back. "You coming, Andi?"

"Right behind you, Sparky!"

Matrix sighed. "Please don't call me that."

"Sure, Sparky, whatever you say." She chuckled as he glared at her.

The couple zoomed off after the emergency vehicles. They arrived at the scene to find the CPU's circling a small, fallen form.

Matrix saw Bob and Dot standing together and landed next to them.

"Sis, what's going on?"

"There was an illegal portal," the command.com answered, not taking her eyes off the scene. "Something fell through."

"What is it?" Matrix growled.

"That's what we're about to find out," Dot replied, grimly.

The figure rose to its feet to reveal a disheveled, young, female sprite. She had pale, pinkish-white flesh, long brown hair that was arranged in a simple braid, and a pair of intelligent grey eyes that peered out fearfully from behind her glasses. She took several deep breaths, staring around in disbelief, and repeated over and over, "Ohmygod, this is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening..." 

"You are surrounded!" bellowed a voice from the lead CPU. "State your name and system and surrender any weapons you may be carrying!"

"My-my name is C-Callista Anderson," the sprite answered, shakily. "I-I don't have any weapons or anything...really, I don't want to hurt anyone...I don't know wh-where I am or how I g-got here...I just want to go home." Tears trickled down the now completely terrified sprite's face. "Please," she whimpered, "help me, someone...I-oh..." She gave a soft, slow gasp and crumpled to the ground again.

The onlookers watched the scene in stunned silence. Dot spoke first.

"What...what in the 'net-?" she asked softly.

Bob's voice was gentle. "I don't think she's a threat, Dot. She's just a scared, lost kid." 

Dot was reminded strongly of little Enzo, although this sprite seemed at least ten hours older. There was a childish vulnerability about Callista that forced Dot to fight off an urge to gather the sprite into her arms and comfort her. 

"Whoever she is, whatever she is, she needs help. She seems to be in some sort of shock," said Dot briskly, as she gestured for the Med. team to move in. They loaded Callista onto a gurney and took off for the Principal Office with her. The CPU's followed as an escort.

"But who is she?" AndrAIa asked. "Where did she come from and why in the User's name is she here?"

"I think the answer to all those questions is on its way to the Principal Office," Bob replied. He raised his hands and opened a portal. "After you."

"I want to hear the story Callista tells when she wakes up. It's got to be good. After all, pretty young sprites don't normally just fall out of the sky," Matrix said.

"You're right," AndrAIa agreed, smiling. "They usually come out of game cubes."

##### Principal Office- Infirmary:

Blackness.

And before the darkness, pain. Callista remembered the pain all too vividly. Which, she reflected ironically, was what one usually felt when struck by lighting.

Struck by lighting...that must have been what had happened, right? That was the only possible explanation for why she had gone from being seated at her computer to waking up in...wherever that place was that she had just seen. It had all been a bizarre dream brought on by the trauma of having several thousand volts of electricity shooting through her all at once. Yes, it was just a dream. It sure had seemed real, though...

She stirred, felt a flat surface beneath her back. _Bed...it's a bed_, she thought. Bed meant... hospital? That was highly likely. That would also explain why she didn't feel any pain. She was probably on some really good drugs right now.

"She just moved! I think she's coming to." Several pairs of footsteps quickly moved towards the bed. Callista sensed someone leaning over her. "All of you move back," a woman's voice, young but filled with authority, ordered. "Give her some room." Callista heard the feet shuffling backwards.

"Callista?" the woman asked, quietly. "Callista Anderson?"

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking to try and clear her blurry vision. "My glasses..."

"Here." She felt the familiar wire frames press gently into her hand. She struggled to sit up. A pair of hands went to her back, supporting and helping her. She slipped her glasses on, bringing the world around her into focus once more. "Thanks. I'm all right, I jus..." The words trailed off as she got a good look at her location and at the pretty, dark-haired, violet-eyed woman who stood beside her. A woman with...green skin? Behind the woman was a brown-eyed, blue-skinned man with shiny silver hair who was clad in some form of armor, an aqua-haired woman with fins on her forearms and calves, and a large, muscular man with a gold eye and the same hair and skin as the first woman.

"You-you can't be real. This has to be a dream. I'm dreaming...I must be!" Callista said, dazedly. 

Dot shot a concerned glance in Bob's direction. The sprite still seemed to be somewhat out of it.

"You're not dreaming, Callista," she said, reassuringly. "This system is called Mainframe. You're in the Principal Office. My name is Dot Matrix and I'm the command.com. This is Bob, Guardian 452. Is any of this making sense to you? Can you tell us what system you're from?"

"System? Mainframe? Why...why are you green?"

"Where do you live? How did you get here?" Dot asked slowly. Why was she green? Maybe Callista was a bit random?

"I-I'm from Boston. I don't know how I got here. I was logged onto the Internet and lighting must've struck the system. Next thing I knew, I was here."

"So, your system, um, Boston, has access to the 'net?" Bob asked.

"Of course Boston has Internet access." Callista gave him a really strange look. "All you need is a phone line and a modem." She shook her head. "And what do you mean, 'system'? Boston is a city in the state of Massachusetts." She stared at him. "My god, you have the coolest hair...how'd you get it that color?"

"Mass-a-chu-setts?" asked Dot, stumbling over the unfamiliar word. "I've never heard of it."

"You've never heard of Massachusetts?" Callista stared at her in arrant disbelief. "Just where is this place?"

"I told you, this is Mainframe," Dot answered.

"Well, what country is this?" Callista looked up at Bob again. "On second thought, what planet is this?"

"Planet?" Matrix asked. "Dot, she's random!" AndrAIa scowled and poked him in the arm, warningly.

Callista glared at him. "And just what does _that_ mean?" she demanded.

"It means you're mis-filed. You're using fuzzy logic," Matrix explained, somewhat rudely.

"I'm _what_? I am NOT crazy, you jerk! How dare you! You don't know ANYTHING about me!" Callista snapped.

"You don't even know _where _you are!"

"You-you...insensitive, muscle-brained nitwit!"

"My children! Stop this foolishness! There is no need to fight!" Everyone looked up as Phong entered the infirmary. Matrix glared at Callista and walked over to lean against the wall. 

"Oh my god..." Callista whispered. She stared at Phong in awe. "You...you are unbelievable..." 

Phong moved to the bed and extended his neck to get a closer look at her. Callista shrank back, her eyes wide and frightened.

"What are you?" she asked in a small voice.

Phong smiled kindly. "Do not fear, my child. You are safe here." He moved back. "I am Phong. Your name is Callista?" She nodded wordlessly. He smiled again. "It is a beautiful name. Welcome to Mainframe." 

"Um, t-thanks...Phong." She gave him a small, tremulous attempt at a smile in return. She didn't know quite why, but she instinctively knew she could trust him. He meant her no harm. He patted her hand and turned to Bob.

"You have never come across this 'Boston' that Callista speaks of?"

"The name seems somehow familiar, but, as far as I know, there is no system called that," the guardian answered.

"Wait, so you have heard of it, Bob?" Dot asked.

"Yeah, that's the weird bit." He shook his head. "I know I saw it somewhere while I was at the Academy."

Dot looked Callista over again. "Why don't you have an icon?"

"Icon?"

Dot pointed to the black and white symbol that they all wore. "Like this. Did you lose yours?"

"I never had one. What does it do?" All of them stared at her in disbelief. Callista blinked. "What?"

"You've never seen an_ icon_?" Matrix asked.

"Wait!" Bob said. "Now I remember where I've heard of 'Boston'! It was in the 'Myths and Legends' class we took at the Academy. It's a city that's supposed to exist in the Userworld."

"But, if _Callista's_ from there, that would mean that she's..." Dot trailed off, realizing what she was about to say. "Net preserve us! This isn't possible, is it?"

"What? What does it mean?" Callista asked.

"It means...it means that you're a...User," Bob answered, his expression a curious mixture of awe and horror. 

##### Principal Office- Communications:

Packard leaned back from her console, just staring at the data displayed on the screen. This second had been very strange thus far. Another unauthorized portal had been discovered and this time, two entities were reported to have emerged from it. The young binome's throat felt suddenly tight as she read the last part of the sensor readings. The two beings were unmistakably...viral.

She opened a Vid Window to the Infirmary. The command.com's image popped up, an odd expression on her face. "Yes?"

"Commander Matrix, sir? Perhaps you should come up here and look at this." Packard bit her lip. "I think we have a bad situation developing."

Dot nodded. "I'm on my way." The Vid Window closed. Packard slumped in her chair, trying not to cry.

##### Mainframe-Level 31:

Light flared in the dim alley as two figures stepped through a portal. It closed behind them. One of the beings stepped to the end of the alley and glanced around. There was just enough light to reveal the form of a female virus. She was tall and slim with deep blue skin, slanted eyes of an angry red, and long, jet-black hair with blood-red streaks. On each finger was a long, sharp claw with a glinting metallic tip. She was clad in a form-fitting, sleeveless garment of shiny black leather. She looked like 'trouble', personified. She turned to her companion. "Where are we?"

"At last...it has been so long!" said a deep, ominous voice from the shadows. "I have some... unfinished business to attend here."

The female virus nodded. "Ah, Mainframe." She gave an unpleasant laugh. "I do so enjoy revenge!"


	2. Departures

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Oh My User: Chapter Two

by:Ryuu-sama([karma_aster@yahoo.com][1])

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Rating: PG (language, implied violence)

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Disclaimer: All the characters used in this story are the property of Mainframe Entertainment with the exception of Callista Anderson, Packard, Kali, and other original characters. Those are my creations. For the more complete disclaimer, the time scale I'm using in this thing, and to find out just what the heck is going on, please read chapter one of this fic. Thank you!

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Notes: Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to keep writing on this thing! I'm amazed at how many people actually _liked _the first chapter of this thing. I devoutly hope this next chapter lives up to your expectations. Big "thank you's" go to my proofreaders: Haru, Charisma, Drem-chan, Amber, Norcumi, and Morning Cereal. Did I forget anyone? I'd also like to give special thanks to the readers at Fanfiction.Net, the mighty Hanako Breithaupt (whom I hope doesn't ever use my fic as examples of how _not_ to write!), and the wonderful and zany group at the ReBoot LiST. You guys rock! 

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Principal Office- Infirmary

"Excuse me? What on Earth is a…a user?" asked Callista, "And just how does being from Boston make _me _one?"

"You really don't know?" Bob asked, surprised.

"Well, I wouldn't be asking if I did, now would I?" the girl asked, caustically. "I assume from context that it's _not _a good thing."

"That all depends on whom you ask, I guess," remarked Dot. "We don't know much about them…er…you, but Users live outside the systems. They download the games, send upgrades…some even say that _they_ create viruses."

"Download games…outside the system…wait, then that would mean that I'm…that this is-no way! There's no freakin' way! That's insane!" Callista put her hands to her mouth. "Are you trying to tell me that-that I'm _inside_ a computer system?"

"Well, yes," Dot answered, slowly.

"But…but that's just not possible! Look, I work with these things for a living, and I know that computers are just circuits and wires and electricity...there are no _people _in them! That wouldn't happen outside of the Twilight Zone and bad X-Files fanfiction!" She shook her head emphatically. "This isn't real. None of you are real!"

"You…" Matrix growled. His cybernetic eye glowed red. "You've been responsible for the nullification of countless sprites and binomes and you claim we're not _real_?" His knuckles whitened as his hands clenched into fists. Callista shrank back as he loomed over her.

"N-nullification?" she stammered. "But, I don't-"

Bob touched his shoulder. "Matrix-" he began.

He pulled away from the Guardian and pointed to his eye. "Your kind did this to me!" His fist slammed down. "How dare you destroy so many innocent lives and then _deny_ we even exist?"

"I-I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice shaking, "please, I-"

"You're _sorry_?" he spluttered. "Sorry? You-" He raised his fist, but then spun around and stormed from the room.

"Matrix, wait!" AndrAIa called out. She ran out after him. "Matrix!" 

Dot turned to follow after the two, then stopped, clenching her own hands into fists. "Spammit!" she hissed, very quietly. Bob walked over and put an arm around her shoulders. She gave him a small, half-smile.

Callista seemed ready to burst into tears. "I-I don't understand! What's nullification? What did I do?"

Phong patted her hand again. "Calmness, my child," he advised. "Things are often said in the heat of anger that are not really meant."

"But why is he angry at _me_? I've never seen any of you before in my life! I didn't even know that you existed! No one in my world does!"

"So the Users don't even know about us?" Bob asked.

"No!" The girl wiped at her eyes irritably, "And I wish I didn't either! I just want to go home!" 

Dot opened her mouth, but before she could speak, a vid-window opened in front of her. Packard was displayed, wearing an anxious expression.

"Yes?"

"Commander Matrix, sir? Perhaps you should come up here and look at this." The young binome bit her lip. "I think we have a bad situation developing."

Dot nodded. "I'm on my way." The vid-window closed. She turned to Bob. "Uh, Bob, could you-"

He nodded. "I'll take care of things here. Go deal with this!" 

She nodded again and squeezed his hand. "Thanks. I'll make this up to you later, I promise," she said quietly, to only him, and then left. 

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Principal Office-Communications:

Everyone looked up as the door slid open, admitting the command.com. She strode over to Packard's workstation.

"Now what is this all about?" Dot asked.

Packard brushed a strand of her cropped, blond hair away from her eye and hesitantly answered, "The sensors have picked up two viral energy signatures, Sir." 

"_What_?" Dot looked over the printouts. "Oh, this is just what I needed," she muttered under her breath. She closed her eyes, gathered her thoughts and said, "All right. I need an armed team to investigate this."

"One is already being formed, Sir," Specks interjected.

"Excellent. The second thing we need to do is keep this intelligence quiet. I don't want to create a panic. And third, find Mouse and the Surfer. We might need them." 

"Yes, Sir. I'll get right on it," a zero replied.

"Fine. I'm going to inform Bob of the situation. Packard, get a printout on those virals and follow me to the infirmary."

"Yes, Sir," Packard replied, turning back to her console.

Dot turned on her heel and left. In the corridor, she stopped for a moment, shook her head, and sighed. "We'll deal with this," she murmured, "We'll find a way to cope. We always find a way." 

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Principal Office-Infirmary

Callista, Bob, and Phong looked up as Dot walked in. The girl's eyes were red and puffy, as though she had been crying, but she seemed calm. 

"Dot, what's wrong?" Bob asked, seeing the expression on her face.

"We have another problem," Dot answered. "Two viral energy signatures have been identified within the system."

"Viruses?" Bob said, feeling a freezing sensation settle in his guts. "Two viruses?"

"Yes." 

"Have they been identified?"

"Not yet." 

"What, computer viruses?" Callista asked. "I assume this is, uh, bad?"

"Very bad," answered Bob. "We expelled a particularly nasty one from this system not too long ago." 

She bit at her lower lip. "So, this means I'm not going home for a while, huh?"

"That would appear to be the case, child, but we will do what we can, when we can. Do not lose hope," said Phong.

The door opened, admitting Packard, who carried a stack of printouts. She handed them to Dot. "I have the information you asked for, Sir."

"Thank you, Packard," Dot replied, handing over the sheets to Bob for his perusal. 

"You're welcome, Sir." 

"Um, so what _are_ you going to do with me?" Callista asked, "I mean, should I go wait in a corner somewhere or what?"

Dot looked up at the User-girl. "Well…I would say to put you in a holding cell until we've sorted some things out…but, you don't really seem that dangerous. Still…"

"Actually, Dot, that is a good idea. Callista would be in a safe place until we can decide what to do next," said Phong, "Unless, you have an objection, child?"

Callista blinked. "You mean, I get a choice?"

Phong nodded, "Indeed, my child." 

Callista thought about it, "Well, I can't say I particularly like the idea of being locked up, but worse things could happen, I guess."

Dot nodded. "Fine. Packard, would you please escort Ms. Anderson to one of the holding cells?" 

"Of course, Sir." Packard walked out the door, followed by Callista. 

Bob handed the printouts back to Dot, his expression grim. "I recognize one of those energy signatures." He sighed, "It looks like Megabyte's back in town."

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Mainframe, Level 31:

A teenaged binome male ran through the darkened streets with a few angry adult binomes in pursuit. He put on an extra burst of speed and ducked into an alley, silently snickering as he heard his pursuers run past. "Basic old fools…"he muttered, sitting down and catching his breath. He pulled one of his stolen energy bars out of his pocket to munch on. "They couldn't catch energy in a data storm." 

"Is that so, boy?" The voice was feminine and mocking.

The binome looked up at the sudden comment from the other end of the alley. "Who's there?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Oh, no one of any consequence." The female virus moved into his sight. She gave a nasty smile at his horrified gasp. 

The boy leapt to his feet and started to back away, an action impeded by a large form that blocked him from behind. He turned and screamed, seeing a face that he'd hoped to never lay eyes on again. 

"No…no," he babbled. "You were deleted…you can't be here…"

Megabyte laughed cruelly. "Do you really think it's that easy to destroy me?" He gripped the boy's collar and yanked him into the air. "I am surprised at very little now, but I _would_ like to know how a system I left in ruins is now peaceful and functioning."

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"I would answer him, boy," The female commented, "Unless you _wish_ to suffer a slow, painful deletion, of course." She examined her claws.

"It was the…Guardian," the boy gasped out. "He l-lost a game…and forced the User to reboot." 

"Most resourceful…but then I would have expected nothing less of Bob." Megabyte dropped the binome. He hit the ground with a sickening thud. The navy-blue virus unsheathed his broken claws. 

"Don't take this personally, boy. But I can't have you talking to anyone and you are simply not worth infecting." He raised the claws above his head, poised to strike.

"Oh, Megabyte! Why should you have all the fun?" the female protested. 

Megabyte considered her for a moment, then shrugged. "Very well, Kali. Just don't take too long." He turned and walked away, followed by her laugh and a short scream that was abruptly cut off.

****

Principal Office-Exterior: 

Matrix slumped on one of the ledges around the exterior of the PO and looked out over the city. A few nanos later, he heard a set of familiar footfalls behind him. AndrAIa sat down next to him with her usual grace. They were silent for a few moments, both simply taking in the view. AndrAIa placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned to look at her.

"She's scared," the former game sprite said quietly. "She's been ripped away from her home and everything that's familiar to her and she's scared. She didn't mean what she said."

"How would you know?" Matrix grumbled half-heartedly.

"Because I know that people say and do a lot of things they don't really mean when they're scared or angry," she answered, looking at him pointedly.

He looked away, not wanting to admit that her words made a lot of sense. AndrAIa sighed and put an arm around his shoulders in a half-hug.

"No one said you had to like her or be her buddy…but could you at least give her the benefit of the doubt until she _proves_ herself as an enemy? I agree with Bob. She just seems to be a scared, lost kid." She turned to look into his eyes. "Please do this for me, Enzo?"

Matrix sighed and returned the hug. "All right…for you."

She grinned. "That's my Sparky."

His only response was to roll his eyes. He got up and helped her to her feet. Then the two walked back inside.

****

Principal Office-Security:

Packard opened one of the holding cells and stood aside to let Callista enter. The girl did so and looked back at Packard with a bemused expression on her face. 

"Er…can I get you anything?" asked Packard, not entirely sure how to deal with the situation.

"No…I think I'm okay for now…" Callista fiddled with the end of her braid and stared at the floor. "Uh, I hope this doesn't sound rude, but…what are you?"

"Me? I'm a binome. The Guardian and the command.com are data sprites."

"And…Phong?"

"He's also a sprite." Packard bit at her lower lip. "So, you're really a User?" she asked hesitantly.

"I guess so…that's what you all tell me I am, at any rate." The girl shrugged. "I'm still very confused about all of this," she said, looking forlorn.

Packard felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the girl. "Tell you what…when I get off duty later, I'll come here and tell you a bit about Mainframe," she offered.

"You'd do that?" Callista asked, surprised.

"Sure," said Packard with a smile, "and you can tell me about the Userworld."

"I'd like that." The girl gave a sudden shy smile. "Thank you, er…it's Packard, right?"

"Yeah. You're welcome, Callista. I'll see you later, then." Packard shut the door and walked away. Callista watched her leave and walked over to lean against the wall. She slipped to the ground and buried her face in her hands.

   [1]: mailto:karma_aster@yahoo.com



	3. Field Trip

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Oh My User: Chapter Three

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By: Ryuu (karma_aster@yahoo.com)

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Author's note: Yes, I finally got around to updating this. You kids all knew I would, right? I just wanted to finish this up. This is obviously an AU now, but I'm not planning to adjust it for S4. That means that there are occasional plot points that I somehow intuited before S4 ever came out, but I swear they were always supposed to be in this. The explanation for how this happened? (solemnly) I am a magical, magical fanfic writer. Yes. Question not my uncanny powers.

That said, I hope you lot enjoy this fic. Have fun! Send lots of feedback and/or chocolate! 

***

****

Lost Angles - The Lair:

Hexadecimal frowned, all of her concentration on the task at hand. She reached out, hardly daring to breathe, as she made one small, but crucial adjustment. Easy…easy…there! She stepped back and beamed at the canvas. It had taken her five seconds, but the portrait was worth it. A perfect likeness!

She turned to Skuzzy. "What do you think?"

The wotsit looked over the depiction of an artistically nude Hex riding in a giant clamshell and turned back to Hex with no change of expression. Hex frowned.

"Yes, I suppose it is a bit trite. Very well, then." She snapped her fingers and the painting vanished. She floated over to her throne and summoned her mirror. "Shall we see what the rest of the system is up to?"

Skuzzy declined to comment.

Really, it was too bad that she couldn't share her art with the rest of Mainframe again, Hex mused. But Bob had explained to her that breaking into the system's paint program was Very Bad. She sighed. The Mainframers had such dull lives, really. The system had become so very tiresome since the restart. 

She stared intently at the mirror and the flickering images that moved across its surface. Somewhere something exciting must be happening! One image caught her attention and she began to smile before uploading into her mask and disappearing.

Perhaps this second wouldn't be so boring after all.  


****

Principle Office- Security:

Callista lay on her back on the bunk and stared at the ceiling, wishing that she'd asked for something to read. She was starting to memorize every crack in the plaster above her. For now, she was amusing herself by trying to see what patterns they formed. That one resembled a rabbit…that one was a cow…that one looked like a mask with glowing green eyes…

The girl yelped and rolled off the bed, landing with a heavy thud on the floor as Hexadecimal materialized above her. She groaned and sat up, rubbing at her aching limbs. The chaos virus floated down to Callista, her head cocked to one side. 

"Didn't that hurt?"

"Er…yeah." The user-girl stared at Hexadecimal, her expression one of astonishment mingled with fear. It wasn't every day that a mask appeared in front of one and turned into a toothy, red woman with glowing eyes, who looked like she'd just escaped from a Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue. Callista opened her mouth a couple of times and finally managed to gasp out, "Can…can I help you?"

"Oh, I just wanted to say hello!" Hexadecimal chirped.

"Oh." Callista broke into a cold sweat. "It's just, uh, people are generally on the _other_ side of the bars when they visit someone in a holding cell, right?"

"This seemed more…friendly." Hexadecimal floated closer. "Don't you agree?"

"Friendly…right!" Callista replied, her normally alto voice shooting up an octave. In the back of her mind, she began promising eternal gratitude to any listening deity that was willing to get her out of this in one piece. 

Hexadecimal moved away and looked around the cell. "My, what a dull place…would you like to go somewhere more interesting?"

"Uh…I-I don't think the command.com would like that very much," Callista stammered. "I mean, I think she really wanted me to stay here, and-"

Hexadecimal waved a hand. "Humph! Dot needs to learn to be more spontaneous. Come with me, dear. I'll show you my Lair!" 

She grabbed Callista's hand. The girl had enough time to yelp, "_Lair_?" before the two vanished.

Packard, on her way to visit, heard Callista's yelp and hurried around a corner to find herself facing the cell just in time to see the girl and the virus disappear. She stared at the empty cell for a moment before groaning and opening a vid-window to inform Security about Hex's latest escapade. Someone was going to catch hell for this, and she was dreadfully afraid that it would be her.   
  
**Principle Office- Communications:**

"What's all the fuss, sugah?"

Dot looked up from where she was conferring with Bob and a hastily assembled security team to see Mouse walk in, Ray Tracer close behind her. "Where were you two?"

"Oh, Mouse was showing me around Floating Point," Ray answered, with a wink.

The command.com grinned. "So I see. Mouse? You've still got some grass in your hair."

The hacker hurriedly brushed it away, a faint blush crossing her cheeks. "Cain't imagine how that got there…" 

Dot raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Right."

Mouse rolled her eyes. "If you're quite finished, hon, perhaps ya'd like to tell us what this 'urgent matter' is that we came over here for?"

Bob handed the sensor printouts to the couple. "Megabyte's back, and he's brought a friend with him."

Mouse blanched. "He's _back_? How?"

Dot shook her head and replied grimly, "Who knows? But he's already causing damage. The reconnaissance team brought this back." She held up an icon that contained a deep gouge across the front, almost cleaving it in two. Ray winced. There was no need to ask what had happened to the icon's owner.

"Who was it?" he asked instead.

Dot's expression was tinged with sadness. "His name was Neville Hewlett. We're contacting his family." There was an infinitesimal break in her voice as she added, "He was…very young."

"He won't get anyone else." Matrix walked in with AndrAIa beside him. 

"Enzo?" Dot asked, quietly.

Matrix nodded, answering her unspoken question. "I'm all right, Sis."

"Commander Matrix!" One of the binomes hurried over to Dot. "Security just contacted us. Hexadecimal seems to have removed the User from her cell."

"Hexadecimal? How did she get past the sensors?" Dot shook her head and gave a resigned sigh. "Never mind. I don't need to ask that, do I? Is there any idea of where they might have gone?"

"According to the report, Hexadecimal indicated that she planned to return to Lost Angles," the binome answered. 

Dot nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Sir."

Bob looked over at Dot. "I'll go get Callista," he offered.

"You're not going by yourself, Bob," said Matrix.

Bob shook his head. "I'm the only one Hex _will _listen to. I'll be fine." He gave a one-sided grin. "After all, I'm a Guardian. We can do anything, right?"

Dot nodded again and managed a small smile. "Good luck, then. Hurry back."

Bob patted her shoulder reassuringly and left. Dot turned to the sprites grouped around her. 

"Now…let's work out a plan."

****

Principle Office- Exterior:

Bob decompressed his zipboard and stepped aboard. He was about to leave when a voice spoke up.  
"Guardian?" 

Bob turned to find Packard standing behind him. "Yes?"

"May I go with you? To rescue Callista?"

"You want to go with me…to _Hexadecimal's_ lair?" he asked in disbelief.

"Um…yes?"

Bob blinked. "Are you sure about this?"

Packard shrugged. "I…uh…want to help."

"Well…if you're sure…" Bob nodded. "All right. Just stay close and if I tell you to get out of there, get moving! Understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Packard grinned. "Thank you."

He laughed. "We're going to see Hexadecimal. Don't thank me just yet."

Packard smiled in reply before decompressing her own zipboard. The two of them left, heading rapidly for Lost Angles.

****

Lost Angles – The Lair:

Callista looked around the Lair and smiled nervously. "Er…nice place. Do you do your own decorating?"

Hexadecimal nodded, smiling proudly. "Yes, I _do_, my dear! And aren't you clever to notice?" She held up a teapot. "And how do you take your tea?"

"Um…with lemon if you have it?" Hexadecimal beamed and poured her a cup. Callista took it and had a cautious sip. It wasn't too bad. "Uh…thank you."

Hexadecimal's smile widened, showing an impressive set of teeth. "Such a polite child. Would you care for a biscuit?"

Callista looked over the plate of binome-shaped cookies and blinked. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn she just saw one of them…moving? "N-no, thank you. I'm a bit…uh, queasy right now."

"Oh." The ex-evil virus put the plate down. "Perhaps later, then." She took a sip from her own cup. "Now, my dear, where do you come from?" 

"Oh…Boston."

"Really? How fascinating! Is it a nice system?"

"It's, uh, very…friendly."

"But you've decided you want to travel and see the Net?"

"Well…the, um, traveling was a bit of an accident. I'd really planned to stay in Boston."

Hexadecimal nodded knowingly. "Ah, yes…I understand how that can happen. I'd planned to blow up the Principal Office once, but some things fell on me at the last nano."

Callista stared at her, wide-eyed.

The virus tilted her head to one side. "Is something wrong, my dear?"

"N-no…" Callista took a sip of her tea. "So…you like to blow things up? How…interesting."

Hexadecimal looked up. "Oh! I believe we have more visitors! Lovely!" 

She raised a hand towards the ceiling. Callista looked up just in time to see a hole open and drop Bob, Packard, and their zipboards in an undignified heap on the floor. The sprite and the binome got to their feet, looking somewhat dazed.

"Why, Bob!" Hexadecimal's eyes glowed a happy green, "I'd so hoped you might drop in!" She waved a hand towards the table. "Would you and your friend care to join us for tea?"

"Uh…not today, Hex," Bob answered, eyeing the plate of biscuits nervously, "We just came to get Callista. But, er, thanks!"

Callista set her teacup down and stood up in a hurry. "Well, thank you, Hexadecimal. This was lovely and…a _real_ education for me, but I shouldn't keep the Guardian waiting!"

Hexadecimal frowned. "You're leaving?" The three held their breath, waiting for her reaction. Unexpectedly, she beamed at Callista. "Then come back sometime soon!"

Callista nodded bemusedly and walked over to stand beside Bob and Packard. The three turned for the exit. Bob muttered just under Hexadecimal's hearing, "Just keep walking and don't look back. And if she starts coming towards us…run."

Callista nodded again, following Packard out. Bob stayed behind them. When they reached the outside, she gave a huge sigh of relief. "That was too strange."

"You're all right?" Packard asked.

"I'm fine. I'm really glad to be out of there, though," Callista answered.

Packard laughed. "I agree with you there."

"Come on. We've got to get back." Bob decompressed a zipboard and handed it to Callista. "Let's go."

The girl stared quizzically at the device she held in her hands. "What do I do with this?"

"You've never used one before?" asked Packard.

"Um…no."

"Okay." Packard decompressed hers and demonstrated. "You put a foot on each of the round pads and then you can use it to fly. You steer by moving your body in the direction you want to go." She hovered a few feet over Callista's head. "See? It's easy!"

The girl stared up at the floating binome as though hypnotized. "We're going to…_fly_?" she asked, the final word emerging as a frightened squeak.

"What's wrong?" said Bob, noticing how pale she'd become.

"I…I don't like heights much," she replied, her voice shaking.

"You're afraid of heights?" Bob asked. Callista nodded, biting at her lower lip. He gave a resigned sigh. "It figures." The Guardian raked his fingers through his hair and looked skyward, trying to divine a solution. Finally, he looked back at Callista. "Get on behind me."

"W-what?" she stammered.

"Get on behind me and hang on," he explained patiently.

Her eyes went big and round and she turned an interesting shade of pale green. "Get on behind you…" she repeated, dazedly. 

Bob raised an eyebrow. "It's okay, Callista. I don't bite." 

"Uh…" Hesitantly, she stepped onto the zipboard behind Bob and put her arms around his waist. He gave her clasped hands a reassuring pat.

"You all set?"

"Ungh…"

Taking that as a "yes", Bob levitated the zipboard slowly. As soon as she felt them rising, Callista's grip tightened to a death hold. Bob patted at her hands again.

"Uh, Callista?"

"Ergh…"

"Callista, you're going to have to loosen your grip."

"Why?"

"Because it's getting hard for me to breathe."

"Oh…okay," she whispered.

Bob could feel her shuddering behind him. "Callista, you can trust me. I'm not going to let you fall."

She gave voice to a slightly hysterical giggle. "Oh, I trust you…it's me I'm not so sure about."

Packard spoke up, "Don't worry, Callista. The Guardian is the best at piloting a zipboard, and I'll be right behind you."

Bob squeezed Callista's hands. "See? You've got nothing to worry about. Just close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths, all right?"

The girl took his advice. He felt her grip loosen slightly.

"That's it. Good girl," Bob said, putting all the encouragement he could into his tone, "Now let's go."

The three of them made their way to the Principle Office, Callista keeping her eyes tightly closed the entire way. When they landed, she stumbled off the zipboard and considered kissing the ground.

Bob stepped off and compressed the board, putting it back at his waist. He patted her shoulder. "You did a great job, Callista."

"Thanks," she said, with a wan smile.

"BOB!" 

"Oh no…" Bob murmured.

A small green blur shot out of the PO and streaked towards the Guardian, knocking him flat. At that point, it slowed enough to reveal itself as a small, green-skinned boy wearing a red cap, jeans, baseball jersey with "Enzo" emblazoned on the back, and sneakers. He began talking a mile a minute. "Bob! Dot said you had to go save the User from Hexadecimal! Did you have to go fight Hex? Did the User have to fight? Where is she?" The boy paused for breath, looked up and saw Callista. He cocked his head to one side. "Who are you?"

"Um…I'm Callista." She smiled nervously. "Hi!"

"Wait, you're the User?"

"Well, yes…so, I've been told."

Enzo's violet eyes widened. "Dude…random!" He got up and walked over, staring intently at her. His face fell. "You just look like a sprite," he said, disappointed.

She shrugged. "Gee, sorry. What were you expecting? Wings? Magical powers?"

"Yeah!" he said, eagerly. "Do you have those?"

"I'm afraid not," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm just me…whatever that is."

"Oh." The boy appeared to think about this for a moment, before finally grinning and holding out a hand. "I'm Enzo Matrix!"

"It's, er, nice to meet you, Enzo," Callista said, shaking the proffered hand. "Are you related to the Command.com?"

"Yeah. Dot's my big sister."

Callista was distracted from the small talk by a low, rumbling growl coming from behind her. She turned around _very slowly_ to discover a large red and yellow dog eyeing her. He gave another hostile growl. 

She briefly considered running for it, then realized that would probably be the stupidest move she could make. Instead, she concentrated on looking as non-threatening as possible and put out a hand for the dog to sniff; praying that she wasn't about to pull a bloody stump back.

The dog looked surprised. He sniffed at her hand, looked back up at her, and commenced to growling again.

Callista gave a small, frightened whimper. She'd been struck by lightning, dragged from home, dumped in a world full of Technicolor people, kidnapped by a psycho in bondage-gear, and now she was about to be mauled by Cujo's computerized cousin. And the day had started so well too.

"Hey, Frisket." Enzo walked up to the dog and patted him on the head. To Callista's utter amazement, the canine behemoth wagged his tail and whined up at the boy.

"So…this is your dog?" She started backing away. "And he's such a…big dog!"

She felt a hand clasp her shoulder from behind. "Frisket won't hurt you. Just don't get in his way," Bob said. Callista looked up at the Guardian who grimaced. "He's never liked me much, either. Don't worry about it."

"Easy for you to say," Callista muttered. "You're bigger than I am."

"Makes me more of a target," Bob whispered back.

"Um…will you think any less of me if I start crying again or babbling hysterically?" she murmured shakily. "This really, really has _not_ been a good day." 

Bob patted her shoulder again. "Let's go find Dot and tell her we've got you back, okay?"

"I like that plan. That's a good plan." Callista took a deep, steadying breath. "And then I would very much like to sit down soon."

The small group made their way inside.

****

Mainframe, Level 31:

Kali grimaced at a smear of energy on her boot. "Look at this! Do you know how hard it is to get these kinds of stains out?" she demanded.

"Then perhaps you should terminate your victims more carefully?" Megabyte replied dryly.

The female virus rolled her eyes. "I certainly didn't expect one cut to spurt that much." She let out a small, frustrated growl. "That boy should feel lucky that I've already deleted him."

"For now, that is inconsequential," said Megabyte. "I believe we have an evil plot to commence?"

Kali waved a hand dismissively. "Relax. I'm ready." She closed her eyes and concentrated. Her hair shortened, losing its red streaks in favor of dark green highlights. Her deep blue skin lightened to a pale, creamy green. Her claws retracted into short, neatly manicured nails and her outfit shifted into more sensible leather body armor. She shrank several inches in height, her frame rapidly becoming more petite. When she opened her eyes, they were a vivid violet. She studied her reflection in a nearby reflective surface, then turned to Megabyte, a deceptively sweet smile curving her bright red lips.

"Well? What do you think?" she asked, in a voice that was a perfect match to Dot Matrix's. 

He nodded approvingly. "Very good. That file mimic command was a good one. Are you sure the Principle Office's sensors won't pick up anything unusual?"

She snorted. "If they actually _have_ anything that can detect me, I deserve to get caught." She patted a stray strand of hair back into place. "Relax. No one in Mainframe will notice anything out of the ordinary. Certainly their precious Guardian won't."

Megabyte leered. "Not until it's too late anyway."


End file.
